It's not cuz you not hot, I would love to tap that ass. "He paused, shifted in his chair, so freaking busted, it wasn't funny. "We can write a manual on How to Lose a Guy in 10 Weeks."

You know how they say to never drink and drive? When Ben tells his father that having a kid this young wasn’t how he envisaged his life, his father gives him some sage wisdom: “Life doesn’t care about your vision. Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema and BabbleTop. The pregnancy at the heart of Knocked Up is the result of a drunken one-night stand in the movie’s opening act. "You better get your fill of the booze now, then," said Xochi. "The hit doesn't appear to have knocked any sense into you.”, “I'm the guy who gets uncomfortable. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head.

Do you ever get so bored, you just stare at your balls? Knocked Up quotes: the most famous and inspiring quotes from Knocked Up. RELATED: 7 Actors Who Hurt Their Spouse's Career (And 8 Who Saved It). You're a doorman, doorman, doorman, doorman, doorman, so... Fuck You! They get knocked up again.”. When I was a boy, I used to sit every day on the shoulders of Hercules: what became of him I have never been able to ascertain. Neptune has been lying these seven years in the dust-hole; Atlas had his head knocked off to fit him for propping a shed; and only the day before yesterday we fished Bacchus out of the horse-pond.”, “Dad, why did you marry a crazy woman?" He had taken me home to their tiny apartment above the old hardware store and done what little he knew to take care of me. You’re at a f**king bar mitzvah in San Francisco, you motherf**king piece of shit, and you know what I’m gonna have to do now? I hope your plane crashes. Temporarily.And we'd need the Order for that.I had a suspicion baby Jesus was more likely to attend dinner tonight wearing suspenders than getting them on board with opening a gate.”, “Oh my Queen Mab, I thought you were dead! Ben is freaking out that he has a kid on the way and then he watches Cheaper by the Dozen in the hotel room and it only makes him freak out more: “This isn’t funny. Here's to all of you, and here's to me, Together as friends we'll always be, But if we should ever disagree, Then FUCK ALL OF YOU, HERE'S TO ME!”, “He took a long draw then asked, "What'd I do? It's doggie style. Your government just gave you two months to get knocked up."

Added: June 07, 2007; Jay: Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit! It took less than six weeks for him to realize his mistake.

Dad shouted. Hence, the plot. This is sick.

Oops. ""You knew about the guy threatening my dad? He snorts, and his mouth twists into an ironic smile. has always been to trick R-rated comedy audiences into watching movies that are sweeter, smarter, and more insightful than they were expecting. Oh that's "cu... Oh that's gross! Who is that guy? And that gave me hope that maybe my mother was really something else and not just some girl who got knocked up by a guy whose name she didn't even know.

That's why I was able to write 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin' and 'Knocked Up.' It wasn't Jill. Want to see more pictures of Knocked Up quotes?

But they could not be contained.The darkness paused for a breath.They erupted.”, “Very sorry to knock you up, Watson,' said he [Holmes], 'but it is a common lot this morning. "YOUR MINE," the man raged. She held up the bottle, her face dull and red. Seriously, that's how they descibed it. It made you live in defiance of the inevitable.

You old, she pregnant, can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches runnin' around, that's crazy. Knocked Up is a prime example of this, as we go in expecting a zany movie about a slacker man-child played by Seth Rogen getting a hot girl pregnant and having to deal with the consequences. Knocked Up Quotes.

“Its because Im pregnant, Christian." Midway through Knocked Up, Ben takes a road trip to Vegas with Pete and they take in a couple of shows. You think I'm an inventor? That mean if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. Alison is going into labor and you are not f**king here. That's not your vagina. "Virgin, my ass!"

[after staring at Allison's vagina for the gynaecology appointment] Wow, you do look like your sister! If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' lose my mind! We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.

Starve to death!" You read a lot about people being hit on the head and knocked out, but you don't read much about blood clots in the brain. What, am I not skanky enough for you, you want me to hike up my fucking skirt? It looks like our comouter has chicken pox. Instead, they waited until the guy knocked the fuck out of my dad and readied him for spaceflight with duct tape then tried to kill me with a butcher's knife.”, “The whole point of me not getting knocked up with the prince's baby was to keep the gates closed, but we had to open them.

It's just the style. It cocooned one from the rest of the world, erased time itself, knocked away reason. But there are a lot of others: such as what I am going to do when my husband kicks me out and then my lover throws me over when he has to support me, and me not being trained for anything but to be somebody's wife and having to do all my politicking and achieving and gain what little success I can by getting behind some stupid man and pushing him.”, “Only a bitch of color comes to Harvard to get pregnant.

This guy’s got twelve kids. Over the course of Knocked Up, we see two different couples experiencing problems. It lasts forever.” This is easily the most relatable quote in the movie. You just gotta roll with it.”.

"I ask myself, if the worst happened-if I did get knocked up-would I be embarrassed to tell my child who his father was? In addition to writing for Screen Rant and Comic Book Resources, covering everything from Scorsese to Spider-Man, Ben directs independent films and does standup comedy.

And I can’t even accept that? Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of 'Everybody Loves Raymond'. It's just gravity. Cary looked at me. She says, “He’s playing fetch with my kids. (to Ben and Pete) Hey, I have a really good idea! All Rights Reserved. Quotes. I asked after the usual pleasantries. Someone, whoever made that flyer, must have digitally turned their frowns upside down. About the evilness of men. "You got yourself knocked up, girl? Well, never drink and bone.” Frankly, it’s not a bad little nugget of advice. I'll do it doggy style, too! Best Knocked Up Quotes. In Knocked Up, Jonah Hill plays a character named Jonah, but he’s a very different character from the version of himself that he would eventually play in This is the End. All the latest gaming news, game reviews and trailers. That's a lot of responsibility to just be... laughing about. Maybe even less than six hours, but he never abandoned me. It's freaking me out. This is a sick movie.



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